


I'm a Goner

by Doodlebags



Category: South Park
Genre: Character Death, Depression, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-04-13 21:46:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14121501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doodlebags/pseuds/Doodlebags
Summary: "i wanna be known....by you"a story about a boy who can never stay dead, and his boyfriend who can.Leopold and Kenny are inseparable and in love, about to graduate and move on to the next stage in life. until a sudden death splits them apart, and the entire world comes crashing down.





	1. the perfect couple

“the perfect couple… when people think of the perfect couple, they usually think of the stereotype of a beautiful woman and a handsome man, madly in love and inseparable. But that’s not exactly the truth. Leopold Stotch and Kenny McCormick started dating in ninth grade, and Immediately, they radiated ‘perfect couple’ vibes. It was like a constant bright light, surrounding them and illuminating them for all the world to see. Almost sickening, really. They’re constantly together, like they’re attached at the hip. I never once seen or heard of them fighting, it’s almost like they are the same person. They’re perfect for each other, the perfect couple.

They give 3 years in a row perfect couple champs Tweek and Craig a good run for their money. I’m sure that, if they had run for perfect couple for the past 3 years, **they’d** be the champs, instead. It’s almost as if they pitied Tweek and Craig, wanting to let them taste the sweet victory before they crushed their chances of winning 4 years in a row. I am very confident that they will win. Take that, Tucker.”

Kyle broflovski held the paper in his hands, staring at it with a raised eyebrow and a blank expression. He paused for a moment in his reading to look up to Kenny, who was across from him on the lunch room table, staring at him with a missing toothed grin. “….this sounds nothing like something I’d say. Also, it’s far too long.” He tossed the paper back to Kenny, who caught it before it could flutter to the ground.

Kenny frowned, staring at the paper in his hands. He scanned the words, ‘Perfect Couple yearbook nomination sheet’.  What was he talking about? This was great! Kenny looked back up to Kyle, giving him a puppy dog frown. “come oooon, Kyle, it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t sound like you. No one’s gonna find out you didn’t write it! Do you really think the yearbook committee care’s that much?”

Kyle groaned, placing a hand on his forehead. “dude….. Tweek is gonna be sooo pissed if he finds out you’re competing against him.” Tweek was very competitive, especially when it came to his relationship’s status in school. No one knew why, not even Craig. But he didn’t dare protest about it. Craig tried, once. Told Tweek he needed to “tone it down with the whole yearbook thing.” Things….didn’t really go well for him. Let’s just say, Craig got an ear full and wasn’t allowed to ‘get off’ the rest of the week.

Kenny just shrugged it off, crossing his arms over his chest with a small smirk. “eh, I’m not afraid of Tweek~” it wasn’t like Tweek could shun **him** from sex for a week. He wasn’t his boyfriend.

Kyle raised an eyebrow at Kenny, leaning a bit over the table. “you sure ‘bout that?”

“Tweek can and **will** kick your ass, dude.” Stan chimed in as he approached the table, sitting down next to Kyle. He immediately started stuffing his face with the cardboard-like pizza they serve them every Friday. “remember sophomore year? When Stacey Shumer tried flirting with Craig?” he spoke, mouth full of pizza. Kyle shook his head.

“mm… yeah, Tweek gave her a black eye. Poor girl.”

Kenny’s face fell as he remember this. Tweek was no one to fuck with, that’s for sure. If they won, shit, with kenny’s luck, Tweek might actually kill him. And Kenny was on a no dying streak for five years straight, he wasn’t about to ruin his world record. …..though, he really wanted his relationship with Butters to be know as Senior Year’s perfect Couple, soooo…..

“I’ll take whatever consequences come at me.” Kenny said, shaking his head. “this is important to me.”

“is it important to **you** , or is it important to Lee?” Kenny was just about to take a contented bite of his watery fruit cup he had packed for his school lunch. That, and a slightly moldy piece of buttered bread was his only lunch today. Butters usually packed his lunch for him, since his family could afford to give him a proper lunch, but Butters called out sick today. Seems the poor thing is getting a cold. Kenny wanted to call out sick, as well, to take care of him, but Butters reassured Kenny he would be fine and practically forced him to go to school. Can’t skip out on school with bad grades. He needed all the schooling he could get, if he wanted to graduate. He was not going to let his boyfriend graduate without him, and leave him to go to some college while he wastes away in South Park, Colorado. Kenny wasn’t really sure if he was ever going to go to college. For one, his family can barely afford the food they put on the table for him and his siblings to eat, or to buy them cloths or other necessities. There was no way that Kenny’s parents could afford to send him to college, which meant, he would probably be working a dead end job, while Butters worked a nice career, supporting the two of them and whatever children they end up having.

He shook out of his thought, getting a bit ahead of himself. Thinking about kids? Living together? They’ve only been dating for three years, he needed to slow down. “alright, alright….. you got me.” Kenny chuckling, picking at his food. “I really couldn’t care less about this shit, but…..” he smiled lightly. “Lee really wants this. And whatever he wants, I want. I only want to make him happy~”

A loud, over dramatic vomiting sound came from the other side of the table, to the left of Stan. Cartman had been surprisingly silent through all of this, probably just plotting the best time to chime in. “gross…..! stop being so **gay** , Kenny!”

Kenny raised his eyebrow, grinning slightly at Cartman. “dude, I aint gay. Only ever liked **one** man, and I’m dating him.” He shrugged.

“heh, yeah, and you probably love his dick, too. That, on its own, is **super** gay.” Cartman shoved the rest of the pizza slice in his mouth and leaned over Stan’s tray, snatching up Kyle’s half ate pizza and scarfed it down as well. Kyle gasped and glared at Cartman. “dude, what the fuck!?”

Cartman laughed. “you weren’t gonna eat that, right~?” he grinned, downing his chocolate milk. Cartman and kyle argued back and forth, mostly Kyle yelling about how fat and stupid Cartman is and Cartman just making some racist jokes and eating his food in between insults. This was the usual, at lunch.

 It usually amused Kenny, but he was pretty distracted today. Mostly about how worried he was for his boyfriend. He sounded pretty sick this morning when he called Kenny to warn him he wasn’t going to be in school today. They did that, so the other wouldn’t become worried. Though, Kenny tried to not miss school, in fear of falling behind and failing.

Before he knew it, the bell had rung, and it was time to head to class. Kenny grabbed his trash and tossed it away and was about to leave for chemistry, when kyle flagged him down in the doorway of the lunch room.

“hey, dude, listen…. I’ll write a good nomination for you, okay? Don’t worry about it.” Kyle patted Kenny’s back with a slight smile.

“heh…. Thanks, man. See ya later.” They waved and were both off in opposite directions. Kenny had a lot on his mind that day, but he managed to do the work that was presented to him for the rest of the classes he had. There wasn’t much to do, since this was only a day before spring break. Mostly just watching movies or taking small pop quizzes. A boring, drudgingly long day. Kenny spent most of it secretly texting Butters under the desk, even though Butters kept telling him to stop and pay attention. Pay attention to what? The shitty movie placed on the screen? No thank you. He’d rather talk to his boyfriend.

 Once school ended, however, he decided to just walk instead of taking the bus. He wanted to immediately go to Butters’ house. Even though most of the day was spend texting him, Kenny missed Butters a lot. Plus, he was worried. It wasn’t often Butters got sick, but when he did, he got **really** sick. Walking out of the school building, he got a text, right on time.

From: Lee <3  
to: Ken  
msg: hey, babe, you’re coming over right?

Kenny’s lips curled into a small smile. He leaned against the bus stop pole, where the boys would usually wait in the morning for the school bus, to text back.

From: Ken  
to: Lee <3  
msg: yep, on my way now. Need anything?

A moment passed by, and Kenny just stood against the buss stop as he waited for a reply. He didn’t want to keep walking if Butters was going to ask for him to stop somewhere. No where was on the way, though. All the shops were way out of his way a few streets up, but he’d walk all the way to Denver if Butters asked. His phone pinged and he checked it.

From: Lee <3  
to: Ken  
mag: yeah? If it’s okay, could you get me a coffee? I know that’s out of your way. It’s okay if you can’t.

Kenny let out a light chuckle as he read the message. He knew it. Butters always asked for a coffee when he was sick. It was cute, and of course he said yes. He turned around and headed up to main street toward Tweek Bros. it was a nice day, so might as well have a nice walk. He popped in his headphones, turned on some music and tuned out the rest of the world. Tweek should be there by the time he gets there, too. Maybe they could have a nice chit chat about the whole…..perfect couple competition. In a pubic place. With witnesses. Tweek wouldn’t kill him in his family’s coffee shop, right? Guess there’s only one way to find out.


	2. how to pamper your boyfiend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ken gets the coffee and encounters an annoyed Tweek. he also gets protective of his boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaahhh shit this is so late. for one, my subscription for Microsoft word was up and i can't afford it yet, but then i found the Microsoft word online thing which is free but on web browser, and after that i just kinda got caught up in work and art and didn't have the time and/or the motivation. but!! it's up!! and now i gotta figure out a schedule to write for these so i don't do this again.

Walking down the road, Kenny made a point to keep an eye on his surroundings, as he always had to. Even in the calmest of times, anything could happen. He was never really relaxed and zoned out at any point in his life, and he felt that being cautious was the one thing helping him stay alive for so long. Cars go by and he would step into the grass, away from the side walk. A sound in the bushes, and he’d cautiously go around it. This may sound a bit paranoid, but with his luck, he knew this was the right way to go about this, especially since his last death years ago was caused by not being alert while walking down town. One little squirrel running in front of him and into the road caused a car to swerve and, since he was busy just jamming out and not paying attention, the car ran right into him, sandwiching him in between the front bumper and the unplanned parenthood building. That shit hurt like hell. You ever die slowly as your stomach is crushed by a truck and building? Yeah, don’t recommend it. 

This walk, though, was very calm. Hardly anyone out, which was odd for after school, but he wouldn’t question it. It took him about ten minutes to walk from school to Tweek Bros. making his way inside, the place was a bit less crowded than it usually was, so he was able to go straight to the front. 

He grinned wide as he approached the tired looking teen with messy blond hair. He had just gotten to work, and he was already done with this entire thing. “ack, Ken, the usual?” he said, twitching slightly.

“yep, and add a medium black coffee with sugar, please.” Ken nodded, taking out his old beat up wallet and counting some ones to give to Tweek.

“Lee’s sick, huh?” Tweek was used to this anytime Ken added Butter’s order to his own without Butters being in tow, it was obvious he was ill and Kenny was catering to him. It was kinda cute, honestly. Tweek admired how loving they were. Almost wanted to take notes.

“heh, yeah, he’s not feeling too great. Gonna spend most of my weekend looking after him. Might be back tomorrow for more, if Lee’s still not feeling great.” He shrugged, handing over his money to Tweek who in tern, opened the register and placed the money inside, handing Kenny his change. 

“suit yourself, man, just means more business for us.” He sighed a little, twitching more as he turned to start making Kenny’s orders. Ken was quiet for a moment, wondering if he should mention it now, or wait till after he was done making the coffee that he could easily tamper with after hearing the news. After careful consideration, He decided to be risky and talk about it now. 

“so…..Tweek…. uhhhh, you know that….couple competition you and Craig always enter each year?”

Tweek immediately tensed up at the mention of that, silent for a moment as he was sure he knew where this was going. Without turning around, he spoke in a low tone. “….if you say you and Lee are planning on entering, I swear to fucking god…..” he seemed slightly pissed, which made Kenny gulp down hard and back away a little. 

“ah heh…. Well….we are….?” The air stood still, it was like everything froze, and the next minute that passed of silence felt like an eternity as Kenny waited for his tern on death row. 

Suddenly, Tweek turned around, clutching two to go cups of coffee in either hand rather tightly. His eyes were piercing as he stared into Kenny’s soul. The cups shook a bit in his hands before he slammed the cups on the counter. “you what, mother fucker?” the slam was startling, making Kenny jump slightly, and  gulp at the tone in his voice. “heheh…. Dude…. No…..no hard feelings, right?”

 

Tweek was about to speak back, probably to spew profanity and threats, though was cut off before he began by the ringing of the bell on the front door of the coffee shop. Drawing his attention to the customer who interrupted him, he seemed to calm a bit down, but not by much. 

“stop threatening people, babe.” The monotoned, naisily voice rung out, followed by foot steps. Kenny looked back behind him and, unsurprisingly, saw Craig walking in, hands deep inside his blue hoodie’s pocket. Letting out an audible sigh of relief to his savior, Kenny grabbed the coffies and started to step back as Craig made his way behind the counter. 

Tweek groaned, crossing his arms over his chest as Craig placed an arm around his waist. “…..fine….. you take over up front, I gotta restock the coffee beans…” Tweek pulled himself from Craig’s arms, making his way to the back. Once Tweek was gone into the back, Craig turned his attention to Kenny, who was about to leave.

“don’t say I never did you a favor, McCormick. Now go, before he gets back.” Craig spoke as he placed on an apron, getting ready to take over for Tweek in front. Craig didn’t actually work there, but he did step in for Tweek every once in a while, just to help out. Tweek’s parents barely worked the front any more, they mostly just oversaw he shipments and managed the shop, and so Tweek was stuck with working slave labor to run the front of the shop. He needed all the help he could get. Though he did hire Thomas part time, he still needed help every once in a while when Thomas was off. He was lucky Craig was willing to help for little to no pay.

After thanking Craig profusely for saving him from yet another horrible death, he fled the shop, coffees in hand as he quickly made his way toward Butters’ house. 

Taking a short cut, it didn’t take him as much time as walking from school to the coffee shop. He wanted to make sure the coffees were still nice and hot when he got there, though since the air in South Park was so cold in the middle of winter, Kenny had to hurry up, prompting him to cut through the trees and yards.

Kenny was able to convince Butter’s parents to make him a key after months and months of ass kissing and trying to get them to trust him, which he hated having to do, since Butters’ parents are total assholes. Regardless, he gained their trust soon enough and was able to get a key to their house, prompting him to easily enter whenever he needed to. This moment was one he needed the key the most, as he didn’t want Butters to have to walk downstairs, as sick as he seemed to be. 

Entering the house, Kenny announced out loud he was there as he made his way up the stairs. “Lee!? I’m coming up!” he warned, quickly heading up the stairs as he felt the coffee was getting less warm from the cold weather outside. A small whimpered reply was heard, coming from Butter’s room down the hall. 

“mmm, okayyy….” He groaned from the closed door, and Kenny frowned. He sounded bad, and it was worrying. Opening the door slowly, Kenny looked in cautiously. “love?”

“hello….” Butters, who was curled up in a blanket on his bed, surrounded by tissues, spoke up in a low, nasally voice. He was smiling, but he looked miserable. Kenny smiled slightly back, making his way into the room. “sit up, butterball…. I got your coffee. Medium black, just the way you like it.” 

Butters’ smile lit up as sat up in bed, brushing the tissues onto the floor. “ah, s-sorry, heh….. trash can is….across the room, so….”

Kenny handed Butters his coffee and shook his head. “no problem, I can clean this up.” He started picking up the tissues, not worrying about the germs all that much. Despite the many times he’s died, he didn’t really get sick easily. 

From his bed, Butters watched Kenny clean the room with a small smile. He pushed himself up against the backboard, sighing a little as he slowly drank the coffee. He found it was easier to allow Kenny to pamper him and clean whenever he wanted. Arguing with him about this was a loosing battle from the start. Besides, it’s not like Butters minds the extra attention Kenny gives him when he’s sick. “…..thank you, love…. S-sorry there’s……so many…” despite not minding the pampering, though, he still felt guilty at times. Though Kenny would shortly dismiss his guiltiness. He wouldn’t have any of that. 

With a wave of his hand and a head shake, Kenny responded Before leaning down to grab a large handful of tissues. “no, no, stop that. I don’t mind at all, Hun, I wouldn’t do it if I did.” Which was very true. Kenny wasn’t the person to just volunteer to do anything, weather it be labor or leisure, if he didn’t actually want to do it. Despite this, though, he did surprisingly a lot of things for other people. Guess he just enjoys helping people out.  

Cleaning lasted a few minutes to a half hour. There wasn’t much work to be done, mostly it was just picking trash up and throwing dirty cloths in the hamper. Butters about finished his coffee before Kenny finished cleaning. He plopped down on the bed at Butters’ feet, sighing and stretching a bit. “ahhh, done~” he glanced over to Butters, who was getting the last droplets of coffee from his Styrofoam cup. Raising an eyebrow, he grinned a little. “wow, Lee, were you thirsty? Wait…..you were here alone all day, right? Where you able to eat anything? Drink any water? Please tell me your parents didn’t just leave for work and not feed you.” Kenny was worried now. He didn’t think about the fact that Butters had been bed bound all day with no one to take care of him. And it’s not like they could rely on his parents to do anything for him, half the time, so there’s no telling how long Butters could have been here without fuel for his body.

Butters sighed, and Kenny knew this as a sign that he was right. “….well……they gave me a glass of water? But it wasn’t full, and dad said I better let it last all day, or I’m grounded.” He looked over to his nightstand, where a half drank glass of water stood. Kenny stood up, grabbing the glass and glairing at it, as if he were glaring at his mortal enemy. “…..what the fuck kinda rule is that? You seriously have only drank less than half a glass of water all day?” Butters frowned and glanced down to his blankets on his lap. 

“ah, s-sorry, Ken…..”

Kenny sighed, calming himself down. He got worked up, and he should know better than to do that. He placed a hand on butters head, giving it a gentle rub. “no, lee…. I’m not mad at you. God, your parents are assholes….” He sighed, handing Butters the glass. “drink the rest of it.”

“b-but I’ll be—” butter stammered as he took the glass, but was cut off.

“lee, it’s okay… I will refill the glass as many times as I can, so your parents wont even know you drank it all.” He smiled at butters. “just drink it, please…. You need the hydration more than the caffeine.” 

Sighing, he nodded and complied, taking the last bit of the water and drinking it down quickly. He didn’t realize he was this thirsty until he had the taste of the water. “oh gees, th-thanks, I really needed that....”    
Kenny smiled brightly at his boyfriend before taking the glass and giving him a slight nod. “no prob, babe~ sit tight, I'll get you more. They'll never know~” his smile turned into a gaped tooth grin, which made Butters smile right back. Kenny gave Butters a small kiss on the head before walking out the door and back down the stairs. 

Humming a low tune, Kenny refilled the water, all the way this time, and put a few ice cubes in it. He was about to head out of the kitchen when he halted in his tracks, hearing the front door open. Peaking around the corner, he saw Stephen, looking stern as usual, and pulled himself back behind the wall. What the hell was he doing home so early?! If Stephen saw him, he was doomed. And more importantly, **lee** was doomed. He couldn’t risk it. Stephen hated him enough as it was. Even more so after they started dating. The punishment he’d get for Kenny being there unannounced was far greater than the punishment for not having any water left. Taking out his phone, he sent a quick text to butters before sneaking out the back. 

**Author's Note:**

> ooohhh boy, get read for this. it's not going to be as cute as this forever.


End file.
